Things to never say to someone in the hospital – It may seem sort of
fun to be laid up in an adjustable bed surrounded by piles of magazines
and having full command of the remote. But the truth is, if you’ve ever
had even the shortest of hospital stays, it’s no picnic. It only gets
worse when a friend comes to visit and, without intending to, says
exactly the wrong thing.
Even the nicest friends said some version of this statement to Mary
Ladd, who endured seven surgeries and eight infections after a breast
cancer diagnosis. (Here are 10 things to never say to someone with
cancer.) “I don’t get any rest,” she says. “The plastic sheets ensure
that I’m a sweaty mess all night long. Plus, the staff wakes me up every
hour on the hour!”
“I completely understand what this is like.”
Unless you’ve gone through the exact same thing, it’s impossible to
understand what someone battling a severe illness or recovering from a
major medical procedure is going through. “To be helpful, be empathetic
by saying that you can only imagine what they’re going through,” says
Nitin Kumar, MD, a gastroenterologist in Addison, IL. “Then offer
specific ways to help out, as in, ‘May I bring your mom a cup of
coffee?’ or ‘May I bring dinner to your family while you’re here?’”
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